This is happening too much

After a long hiatus I’ve decided to return to the blogosphere. Oh, just in case someone’s keeping count my New Years resolution was to post more often. Got that bagged. Now for some reasons as for why I haven’t been posting. Laziness, forgetfulness and a total neglect towards all thing social have resulted in the complete abandonment of this site I call a blog. As if that wasn’t obvious.

My writing style has changed a bit if you’ve noticed. Apparently so has my personality. I think writing style is directly proportional to personality. Atleast a new season of Doctor Who is coming out this April so that will break me out of my permenant existensial crisis which gnaws at my soul constantly.

So I’d like to see this post as a new beginning for my blog. I will also be scrapping all my previous projects including the stories. 

Now, piss off.

Not really.

Take A Look- Part 3

“Alright! Now we’re getting somewhere. Follow me we got an agenda to follow!” Said the Alien.

“You are talking properly” deducted Finn

“Of course! The Internet is a mix of different types of English. Now come in the space craft.”

Now it should be clear to the reader that going into strange space crafts is against the rules of self preservation. But nine-year olds don’t have a sense of self preservation, do they? Finn and the Alien walked into the space craft. It doesn’t matter how the space craft was in the inside (bigger probably) except the fact there was a holographic table in the middle.

The Alien and Finn reached the table. The alien explained to Finn that this table was infact a terraforming device which could do quite close to anything to the planet.

“Now, you gotta understand, I’m the representative of a league of alien empires, and we believe humanity is ready to join us. With a few minor touches of course, you are going to make those touches” said the Alien.

“Oh. I don’t like geese. Kill the geese.” says Finn.

“XD, WTF man you don’t like geese? K then.” The Alien typed something and pressed a button “They are dead now. But we need to do something about the pollution”

“Hmm. Pollution cause ice bergs to melt, right? Convert the pollution into ice cream!”

We all can see where this is going.

2016/2017 Tag 

Wassup. Look,I’ll work on the story after this post. Let’s begin with what this tag actually is. It’s been created by David (nice way to promote your blog by the way, don’t mind if I borrow this) and it’s essentially about how your 2016 went and your hopes for 2017. As always, Alyssa tagged me for this. I aggressively suggest you check both of their blogs out. Let’s pop along with the post then.

Rules:
Mention the creator of the tag.

Use the image in the article.

Mention the blogger who has chosen you.

Answer the questions.

Nominate 9 other bloggers/friends and let them know.

Question 1-  Describe 2016 in 3 words.

Just. Fuck. Off

Seriously. 2016 was a bad (if not the worst) year in my life.

Question 2- Name two people who’ve charectarized your 2016?

Ans. This a lot of people. Both fictional and non-fictional. I’ll just tell you my favourite ones and list the others. Firstly, The Doctor has charectarized my 2016 because I literally spent  the whole year for that one  Doctor Who episode which made my 2016 a bit better.

And my history teacher. She is the one of the few people who make school bearable.

Others include-Eren Yeager, Sherlock Holmes, my Mom,Carrie Fisher and more.

Question 3-  Write the most beautiful place you’ve visited in 2016 and tell me why you liked it so much?

Well in the summer I visited a really hilly region in my country and at one point while we were hiking we reached the top of the hill to discover a beautiful view of the area. Felt like a bird there. 

Question 4- Write the most delicious food you’ve tasted in 2016.

Beef tenderloin with a creme of mushroom sauce.

Questions 5 – Write an event which has marked more of your 2016.

Look. If my grandchildren will ask me this question I would politely told them to fuck off because 2016 wasn’t a good year and the events which occurred in it were bad and short and in a great frequency. No event marked nothing of my 2016.

Question 6- What’s the finest purchase you’ve made in 2016?

I dunno if this counts as ‘fine’ but I got a mountain bike. I like it a lot. 

Question 7- Write 3  good intentions for 2017

1) Try to get rid of my procrastination. (Maybe next year)

2) Get rid of any toxic friends I have.

3) Stop my self from getting rid of too many things.

Question-8 Write one place you wanna visit in 2017.

Well I really wanna go to the comic con happening in my city in 2017, because I missed the 2016 one. I’ve never been to a comic con yet so I feel detached from pop culture in an isolated island of self deprivation.

Question-9 Name one plate/food you want to eat in 2017.

Calamari. Never had it before. People say it’s nice . Other people say it’s an acquired tast. I really want to eat something nice so I can aquire some taste.

Nominations

Shit. I only have one person to nominate. Everyone else is either nominated or their blog is unsuitable for this post. So if you wanna get in on this, please do. And Aryama consider yourself nominated.

Peace peace.


Take A Look- A (attempted) Humourous Satire

Finn, looked up. He saw his ceiling. On that particular ceiling was a little model of a plane. Finn liked planes. Well, all 9 year olds like planes. Unless we’re talking about an acrophobic 9 year olds, that is. But Finn, by no means was an acrophobic child. 

Finn was on his bed. Finn liked his bed quite a lot, apart from planes. It was a double bunk bed although he didn’t have a sibling. He likes bunk beds you see. His bed was quite close to his window. A study table was next to his bed. Quite a curious thing for a nine-year old to have, for the total amount of studying they do wouldn’t put pressure on the mind of a gold fish. His parents were in the next room.

Finn’s house wasn’t large not by any means, not for a house atleast. Two storyied. Slanting roof. Large back-garden. Everything a stereotypical Mexican wants. Speaking of the back-garden, something large landed on it. This being a short story I will keep it so by making it clear it was an Alien space craft. Imagine the spacecraft to be as you wish. It doesn’t matter.

Now like all good clichés, Finn noticed said space craft, but naturally his parents didn’t. Like all good clichés he snuck out of his house. Like all good clichés he approached said space craft with an atomised look on his face. Like all bad clichés he decided to urinate on the space ship.

That was his first bad move.
TO BE CONTINUED.

I’m back

Right right right I’m back. Right, I’m acting as if I’m making a big statement, the large amount of the usage of the word ‘right’ seems to indicate that. So let’s get right in to this post.

First of all reasons for I didn’t post for near about a month or so. Well, it was because of a combination of laziness, procrastination, school exams, a trip to my hometown and my birthday. All of these will be explained in further posts.

Now to do something so cliché that it should be a crime; write about new year resolutions. Well my first and foremost resolution is to fix my virus infected computer. I’ve survived without said computer since November and I don’t know how long I will last. Next I I’ll try to post at least once a week on my blog. And that’s about it. No more resolution. Seriously who actually fulfills their resolutions in the first place?

Well as you may have noticed this post is lacking in the general use of my sarcastic humor and my (attempted) satiric writing style. Don’t have much to be sarcastic here, actually. Right that’s it you can stop reading now.

Corrections of the Rules of Social Blogging-(The Proper Ones, Atleast)

Hi. Now this is bit of a ranty-blamey post(THAT IS A WORD AUTOCORRECT) which means I’ll be ranting and (indirectly) be blaming others for their wrong knowledge and for their wrong application of the knowledge of the rules of blogging. If you know that I might be talking about you in this post, you have a right to be pissed.

1. Rule-1 Always comment on other peoples post!

Correction: Always comment on other peoples post, if you like it.

Goddamit. I’ve seen so many people drop lame and insincere comments on posts so they can get views on their own blog. It’s disgusting. I see blogging as a medium to share your thoughts, not to get views. That’s Youtube’s job. If you don’t think a post doesn’t deserve your comment, don’t comment.

2. If someone follows your blog, follow them back!

Correction: If someone follows your blog, check their blog out, and if you like it follow them back.

I’ve received email from random bloggers who have followed me saying “I followed you, now follow me!” and when I refused they ended up unfollowing me. People just expect other people to follow them because they followed their blog,whether they have good content or not.

3. Like every post!

Correction: Use common sense, when liking a post.

Right. This is one of the most annoying things I’ve ever seen in the world of blogging. On someone’s blog, she wrote a sad recount of how her first kiss was ruined. And the post received 9 fucking likes. What the fuck. I also saw a post of about death and pessimism on another popular bloggers blog, which received, get this, OVER 50 LIKES.

You know what? I’ll continue this into another post. Why? I’m too lazy.

The Tennis Tournament

Hello. As many of you may have guessed from the title this post is about a tennis tournament I had to play in. Here’s my general experience.

First of all, allow me to explain what this “tennis” thing is. Tennis is a game in which one must send a ball from one end of the court to the other end of said court within defined boundaries without hitting the net. Now you ask, how do we hit the ball for such an exciting game? We do so by using large mosquito-bats, ahem, I mean tennis racquets  which are shaped like table tennis racquets, only larger and much more expensive.
Now for my situation. I was forced to play in a tennis tournament, a game which I despise, with a bunch of random players. I’m not a bad tennis player, not by any means but I don’t want to apply my self to game I don’t like.

I had to wait for 4 FUCKING HOURS for my turn to play, and I wasn’t playing to win. I was going to lose, go home and watch some Sherlock. But I ended getting paired with a guy half my age and quarter my height. If I lost to this guy my dignity would go to hell and so would my reputation. But if I won I would have to wait a gruelling 4 more hours until the tournament ended. I was stuck in a damn dilemma. To lose or not to lose-that was the question.

Me being a lazy bastard, I lost (I just couldn’t wait for Sherlock).

People laughed at me for days after that incident. They still do.

But Sherlock was worth it.