Take A Look- Part 3

“Alright! Now we’re getting somewhere. Follow me we got an agenda to follow!” Said the Alien.

“You are talking properly” deducted Finn

“Of course! The Internet is a mix of different types of English. Now come in the space craft.”

Now it should be clear to the reader that going into strange space crafts is against the rules of self preservation. But nine-year olds don’t have a sense of self preservation, do they? Finn and the Alien walked into the space craft. It doesn’t matter how the space craft was in the inside (bigger probably) except the fact there was a holographic table in the middle.

The Alien and Finn reached the table. The alien explained to Finn that this table was infact a terraforming device which could do quite close to anything to the planet.

“Now, you gotta understand, I’m the representative of a league of alien empires, and we believe humanity is ready to join us. With a few minor touches of course, you are going to make those touches” said the Alien.

“Oh. I don’t like geese. Kill the geese.” says Finn.

“XD, WTF man you don’t like geese? K then.” The Alien typed something and pressed a button “They are dead now. But we need to do something about the pollution”

“Hmm. Pollution cause ice bergs to melt, right? Convert the pollution into ice cream!”

We all can see where this is going.

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Take A Look- Part 2 (A Humorous Satire)

The reader at this point maybe wondering: “Why in hell would Finn piss on a UFO?”. I’ll tell you why. UFOs are just things which bring out our human curiousity, but in Finn’s case it brought out an inner animal which had layed dormant for generations due to evolution. But it had come out now, facing an adversity which even 10000 years of development hadn’t prepared it for. So it did the most safest thing it could; peed on the UFO to show its dominance.

Or maybe Finn’s bladder was full.

But the most curious thing happend as soon as Finn urinated on said spacecraft. A ramp opened up from the ship. A figure walked down the ramp. It doesn’t take much brain power to guess that was an alien. It doesn’t matter what sort of alien it was; I’ll leave that to your imagination.

“Wassup, bitch-ass mofo! You the representative of this smexy planet here?” Asked the alien in, not surprisingly,English.

Finn looked up at the alien. He took a good, hard look. 

“You talk weird” Concluded Finn.

“No you tiny of piece shit. I have swagged this language from your people’s worldwide database. The Internet. So you the representative,boy? I totes need to meet my swagalicous dudes up in mah home planet, yo so make this quick bitch”

“Uh, yes I’m the representative” said Finn, very unwisely not knowing what he got himself into.

To be continued.

Take A Look- A (attempted) Humourous Satire

Finn, looked up. He saw his ceiling. On that particular ceiling was a little model of a plane. Finn liked planes. Well, all 9 year olds like planes. Unless we’re talking about an acrophobic 9 year olds, that is. But Finn, by no means was an acrophobic child. 

Finn was on his bed. Finn liked his bed quite a lot, apart from planes. It was a double bunk bed although he didn’t have a sibling. He likes bunk beds you see. His bed was quite close to his window. A study table was next to his bed. Quite a curious thing for a nine-year old to have, for the total amount of studying they do wouldn’t put pressure on the mind of a gold fish. His parents were in the next room.

Finn’s house wasn’t large not by any means, not for a house atleast. Two storyied. Slanting roof. Large back-garden. Everything a stereotypical Mexican wants. Speaking of the back-garden, something large landed on it. This being a short story I will keep it so by making it clear it was an Alien space craft. Imagine the spacecraft to be as you wish. It doesn’t matter.

Now like all good clichés, Finn noticed said space craft, but naturally his parents didn’t. Like all good clichés he snuck out of his house. Like all good clichés he approached said space craft with an atomised look on his face. Like all bad clichés he decided to urinate on the space ship.

That was his first bad move.
TO BE CONTINUED.

3 Days 3 Quotes: Day 1

Well, I saw this post on Alyssa‘s blog- thanks for nominating-, and she said everyone is free to this and I do like quotes a lot, so yeah I’m doing this. I scrapped the Donald Trump plan, by the way. Here are the rules:

  • Show the challenge on your blog.
  • Thank your nominator.
  • Pick a favorite quote, explain what it means and tell your readers why you chose that quote.
  • Nominate people for every post
  • Post the challenge once a day for 3 days and include one quote for each post.

I Live my life based on this quote.

sample_3

I love this quote a lot. It does not mean that you literally set people of fire. Please do make an exception if its Donald Trump though. This quote means that you shouldn’t take life that seriously. Joke around. Have fun. Light people on fire. It also means that you should have a sense of humor. A sense of humor will get you through the toughest of times.

I particularly don’t have anyone to nominate. If you are reading this, consider yourself nominated.

People In Love Act Wierd

I’ll get straight into it. My Aunt and  older Cousin came over to my house a couple of days back. I don’t actually like them that much because my cousin is a smartass which gives me competition for being a smartass and  my aunt also happens to be an English teacher, giving me reason to dislike her as I dislike all teachers.

Now my cousin was acting really fucking weird. She came in all happy and glaze-eyed with a little skip to her steps. Her sarcasm was gone (what a relief) and she was wearing too much make-up. Her hair was done up in a really fancy way and her nails were manicured, which was a suprise because she wasn’t t much of a beauty person. All in all she was different.

She  had stopped talking to adults with a sense of superiority and started talking with a sort of wistfulness. She softened her voice when she spoke to me (that took me aback) and she was polite to absolutely everyone. She never paid attention to anything being said. She blinked too much. She said things which were completely unrelated to the current conversation. Me, being the observer and the logician that I am, came to the following possible conclusions:

1. She had undergone serious psychotherapy

Or

2. She was in love.

Both, in my opinion, are the same.

Later I found out, my second conclusion was correct. She was in love with some foreigner who was about to move back to his country, hence the wistfulnesss. Apparently he also loved her back.

Pretty tragic. But her change in behaviour is what intrigued me.

I hope I don’t act like her when my turn comes to fall in love.

There’s Something Wrong With My Body

As the name of the post suggests, there is something wrong with my body. Not as in something like Cancer or Dyslexia, but something equally annoying (how is cancer annoying?).

For example my body does things at the wrong moments. Yesterday, I was brushing my teeth and my body thought that it would a GREAT idea to sneeze. I ended up getting spit and snot and brush bristles all over the mirror and my self. I hope my body is proud of that. And whenever I’m talking to someone about something important my body suddenly  decides its priorities are higher than mine; random parts of my body start to itch, I suddenly feel an urge to dance, I start to sneeze every other sentence and my mouth goes completely dry.

What the actual fuck is wrong with my body?

My body’s metabolism and biological clock is wrack as well. At random-ass moments I feel hungry and after a few seconds of that feeling,I feel sleepy. 

There’s something wrong with my body.

DAMN PHYSICS, YOU SCARY

Physics is scary as fuck. I lack the words to describe the immensity of its scariness. And, no I’m not talking about how it’s scary as a subject in school. I’m talking about how it’s scary as the major component of making the universe work.

Just imagine, if for some reason, Physics decided that today was a good day to stop working. Yeah. Just imagine. Gravity won’t be there. Neither would be earth. Infact the whole universe would collapse. Life as we know it would cease to exist.

And Scientists just add to my paranoia. They say that, and I quote- ‘ Due to anomalies in the time-space spectrum, the very source code of the universe maybe changed and physics as we know it may stop existing’. That not it. There are multiple ways that physics can slay us. Here’s a list

1. Jumping of a cliff (Gravity…. Duh)

2. Our sun turning into blackhole early due to increased mass.

3. Radiation

4. False Vacum (at some point in the universe, due to disturbances in a major particle, enough energy is released to DELETE OUR UNIVERSE FROM EXISTENCE )

5.Solar Tide (our sun releases enough solar energy in one go, TO LITERALLY BURN US OF THE FACE OF THE PLANET)

6. Gamma Bursts

7. Accidental Nuclear explosions

Aaaaaaand the list goes on. That’s why physics is so damn scary, it could kill us all in one swift strike, like a sword and we can’t do shit about it.