Take A Look- Part 2 (A Humorous Satire)

The reader at this point maybe wondering: “Why in hell would Finn piss on a UFO?”. I’ll tell you why. UFOs are just things which bring out our human curiousity, but in Finn’s case it brought out an inner animal which had layed dormant for generations due to evolution. But it had come out now, facing an adversity which even 10000 years of development hadn’t prepared it for. So it did the most safest thing it could; peed on the UFO to show its dominance.

Or maybe Finn’s bladder was full.

But the most curious thing happend as soon as Finn urinated on said spacecraft. A ramp opened up from the ship. A figure walked down the ramp. It doesn’t take much brain power to guess that was an alien. It doesn’t matter what sort of alien it was; I’ll leave that to your imagination.

“Wassup, bitch-ass mofo! You the representative of this smexy planet here?” Asked the alien in, not surprisingly,English.

Finn looked up at the alien. He took a good, hard look. 

“You talk weird” Concluded Finn.

“No you tiny of piece shit. I have swagged this language from your people’s worldwide database. The Internet. So you the representative,boy? I totes need to meet my swagalicous dudes up in mah home planet, yo so make this quick bitch”

“Uh, yes I’m the representative” said Finn, very unwisely not knowing what he got himself into.

To be continued.

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Take A Look- A (attempted) Humourous Satire

Finn, looked up. He saw his ceiling. On that particular ceiling was a little model of a plane. Finn liked planes. Well, all 9 year olds like planes. Unless we’re talking about an acrophobic 9 year olds, that is. But Finn, by no means was an acrophobic child. 

Finn was on his bed. Finn liked his bed quite a lot, apart from planes. It was a double bunk bed although he didn’t have a sibling. He likes bunk beds you see. His bed was quite close to his window. A study table was next to his bed. Quite a curious thing for a nine-year old to have, for the total amount of studying they do wouldn’t put pressure on the mind of a gold fish. His parents were in the next room.

Finn’s house wasn’t large not by any means, not for a house atleast. Two storyied. Slanting roof. Large back-garden. Everything a stereotypical Mexican wants. Speaking of the back-garden, something large landed on it. This being a short story I will keep it so by making it clear it was an Alien space craft. Imagine the spacecraft to be as you wish. It doesn’t matter.

Now like all good clichés, Finn noticed said space craft, but naturally his parents didn’t. Like all good clichés he snuck out of his house. Like all good clichés he approached said space craft with an atomised look on his face. Like all bad clichés he decided to urinate on the space ship.

That was his first bad move.
TO BE CONTINUED.

I’m back

Right right right I’m back. Right, I’m acting as if I’m making a big statement, the large amount of the usage of the word ‘right’ seems to indicate that. So let’s get right in to this post.

First of all reasons for I didn’t post for near about a month or so. Well, it was because of a combination of laziness, procrastination, school exams, a trip to my hometown and my birthday. All of these will be explained in further posts.

Now to do something so cliché that it should be a crime; write about new year resolutions. Well my first and foremost resolution is to fix my virus infected computer. I’ve survived without said computer since November and I don’t know how long I will last. Next I I’ll try to post at least once a week on my blog. And that’s about it. No more resolution. Seriously who actually fulfills their resolutions in the first place?

Well as you may have noticed this post is lacking in the general use of my sarcastic humor and my (attempted) satiric writing style. Don’t have much to be sarcastic here, actually. Right that’s it you can stop reading now.

Corrections of the Rules of Social Blogging-(The Proper Ones, Atleast)

Hi. Now this is bit of a ranty-blamey post(THAT IS A WORD AUTOCORRECT) which means I’ll be ranting and (indirectly) be blaming others for their wrong knowledge and for their wrong application of the knowledge of the rules of blogging. If you know that I might be talking about you in this post, you have a right to be pissed.

1. Rule-1 Always comment on other peoples post!

Correction: Always comment on other peoples post, if you like it.

Goddamit. I’ve seen so many people drop lame and insincere comments on posts so they can get views on their own blog. It’s disgusting. I see blogging as a medium to share your thoughts, not to get views. That’s Youtube’s job. If you don’t think a post doesn’t deserve your comment, don’t comment.

2. If someone follows your blog, follow them back!

Correction: If someone follows your blog, check their blog out, and if you like it follow them back.

I’ve received email from random bloggers who have followed me saying “I followed you, now follow me!” and when I refused they ended up unfollowing me. People just expect other people to follow them because they followed their blog,whether they have good content or not.

3. Like every post!

Correction: Use common sense, when liking a post.

Right. This is one of the most annoying things I’ve ever seen in the world of blogging. On someone’s blog, she wrote a sad recount of how her first kiss was ruined. And the post received 9 fucking likes. What the fuck. I also saw a post of about death and pessimism on another popular bloggers blog, which received, get this, OVER 50 LIKES.

You know what? I’ll continue this into another post. Why? I’m too lazy.

The Tennis Tournament

Hello. As many of you may have guessed from the title this post is about a tennis tournament I had to play in. Here’s my general experience.

First of all, allow me to explain what this “tennis” thing is. Tennis is a game in which one must send a ball from one end of the court to the other end of said court within defined boundaries without hitting the net. Now you ask, how do we hit the ball for such an exciting game? We do so by using large mosquito-bats, ahem, I mean tennis racquets  which are shaped like table tennis racquets, only larger and much more expensive.
Now for my situation. I was forced to play in a tennis tournament, a game which I despise, with a bunch of random players. I’m not a bad tennis player, not by any means but I don’t want to apply my self to game I don’t like.

I had to wait for 4 FUCKING HOURS for my turn to play, and I wasn’t playing to win. I was going to lose, go home and watch some Sherlock. But I ended getting paired with a guy half my age and quarter my height. If I lost to this guy my dignity would go to hell and so would my reputation. But if I won I would have to wait a gruelling 4 more hours until the tournament ended. I was stuck in a damn dilemma. To lose or not to lose-that was the question.

Me being a lazy bastard, I lost (I just couldn’t wait for Sherlock).

People laughed at me for days after that incident. They still do.

But Sherlock was worth it.

3 Days 3 Quotes : Day 3

Righty-o here’s the last quote. Uh, I don’t think I have to blog the quotes consecutively so I don’t think I’ve broken the rules. I invited my self into this challenge from Alyssa’s blog ( https://alyssarantsaboutstupidshit.wordpress.com/), you have an obligation to check it out, thank you Alyssa. Here are the rules:

Show the challenge on your blog.

Thank your nominator.

Pick a favorite quote, explain what it means and tell your readers why you chose that quote.

Nominate people for every post

Post the challenge once a day for 3 days and include one quote for each post.

Now the moment of truth! What will his last quote be? Will he quote Shakespheare? Or Wordsworth? Or Keaves? (Those were the names of really old and highly quotable authors, by the way). No he shall quote:           (drumroll)

                                                                    

Yeah. Just quoted a charectar from a TV show. This quote tells us to live our lives to the fullest, especially if you are a time traveller. I’ve always wanted to write a book, why not start by being the author of my life? Hopefully my life will be a bestseller (shit joke, I agree.) but in all seriousness, try to have a good life before the INEVITABLE DARKNESS OF DEATH CONSUMES YOUR SOUL FOR ALL ETERNITY AND ALL IS LOST. 

I was just trying to put in an existensial crisis.

 

3 Days 3 Quotes: Day 2

Righty-o, here is the quote for day two. I invited my self into this challenge from Alyssa’s blog. You have a right to check it out. Here are the rules for the said challenge:

  • Show the challenge on your blog.
  • Thank your nominator.
  • Pick a favorite quote, explain what it means and tell your readers why you chose that quote.
  • Nominate people for every post
  • Post the challenge once a day for 3 days and include one quote for each post.

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This is a pretty famous quote from  Einstein. I picked this quote because it matches me very well because

a) I’ve made a lot of mistakes, and this quote sort of gives me an excuse

b) I love doing new things.

When you look at it properly, its quite a beautiful quote. It encourages you to go out there and do something new.